Purchasing health insurance under Obamacare via the federal and state exchanges is notoriously difficult for a variety of reasons. It’s so difficult that even though 4.7 million people so far have lost their health insurance due to Obamacare, by the end of November fewer than 400,000 had successfully signed up for private insurance through the federal exchange.
Regardless of the various and sundry reasons why it is so, we can safely stipulate that it is extraordinarily difficult to purchase insurance through the Obamacare exchanges. To put in perspective just how hard it is, we have compiled a list of the top ten items that are shockingly easier to purchase in America than health insurance under Obamacare. Here they are in no particular order.
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A Car: Buying a new or used car is one of the easiest big-ticket items to buy in America. Financing at relatively low interest rates is available even to people with poor credit ratings. Unless your credit is severely damaged and your debt to income ratio is totally upside down, chances are you can walk into a dealership and within a couple hours walk out with the keys to a new car. If you have a decent credit score you can probably get manufacturer financing at 0% interest for 60 months. Again, this is something you can do in a matter of a few hours. Some people have spent two months trying unsuccessfully to purchase private insurance through healthcare.gov.
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Firearms: Thanks to the 2nd Amendment, we are blessed with the ability to purchase firearms in America for a variety of uses including home and self defense, target shooting, and hunting. So long as you are not prohibited from owning a firearm due to criminal history, certain mental illnesses, or immigration status, you can buy a firearm in most states in just a few minutes.
With firearms in such high demand due to the superb salesmanship of anti-gun politicians such as President Obama, the longest part of the gun buying process is often waiting in line for a clerk to help you out. Once you’re with the clerk it’s just a matter of selecting your item for purchase, filling out a federal form, and waiting for the instant background check to process. Assuming you get the all-clear, within just a few minutes you’re ready to check out.
That’s for modern firearms. A little known fact outside of the shooting community is that you can purchase antique and reproduction black powder firearms in store or online and have them shipped directly to your house without a background check, waiting period, or the assistance of a federal firearms licensee. Cabela’s offer’s this beauty for less than $200. Order today and you’ll likely get it before Christmas.
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A Cannon: Would you like to be the proud owner of your very own working cannon? Well, for less time than it takes to create an Obamacare account you can order a wide variety of cannons including the Texas Boomer which retails online for around $435 including shipping and handling.
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Flame Thrower: We have no idea why you would need a flame thrower, but if you want one you can get this slick model for less than $900. I called up the manufacturer today and they said that for less than $100 in expedited shipping costs I could place an order today and have it arrive in the mail before Christmas.
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A House: It is doubtful that even if you started the process today you would be able to buy a new house by Christmas. But for most home buyers it’s simple enough to do in less than the two months many have spent trying unsuccessfully to purchase health insurance under Obamacare.
The process is fairly straightforward. Figure out what you can afford, get lender preapproval for that amount, make an offer on your dream house through your realtor, set a closing date, sign a mountain of papers and you can be a homeowner with as little as 3.5% down. The longest part of the process for most people is finding a house they want within their price range. Once an initial offer is made, closing can take place in as little as a month.
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A Pet Tiger: Look, we are not commenting on the advisability of owning a pet tiger. We’re just pointing out that if you live in certain states such as Texas, you can pick up your own baby tiger for as little as a few hundred dollars. According to various news articles there are more tigers living as pets in Texas than there are living in the wild in India. We’re not saying the care and feeding of a tiger is cheap, but then neither is Obamacare (if you can get it).
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Explosives: Like ‘splodey things that go “boom”? You can run over to your local sporting goods store and pick up some Tannerite. It’s inexpensive and requires no background check or special license. It’s as easy as buying a package of dish washing sponges. But believe me, Tannerite is a lot more fun to use than a sponge.
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A Human Skull: This is kind of spooky, but for around $600-$2000 you can buy a human skull online from a variety of websites including eBay and numerous specialty shops. Again, let me reiterate, for less than the cost of one month’s premium on a bronze level Obamacare insurance plan for a family of four you can buy a human skull.
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Round The World Plane Ticket: Taking a round the world trip is a common dream shared by most people infected with the travel bug. Well, now it’s easier than ever. There are numerous options for flying round the world. You can buy several one way segments or get a package round the world ticket for less than $3,000, or around $10,000 if you want to travel in style.
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Brass Knuckle Taser: While this seems less practical for self defense purposes than say a Springfield XD .40 Subcompact, to each his own. If you really want a brass knuckle Taser you can order a 950,000 volt model from Amazon for the low price of $30. This model even comes with batteries and a magnetic leather holster. What will Obamacare get you for $30? Nothing.
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Bonus Item – Abandoned Nuclear Missile Silo: Throughout the hottest periods of the cold war there were hundreds of nuclear missile silos hidden in plain sight all across the United States. As our nation reduced its nuclear arsenal following the collapse of the Soviet Union many of the silos were no longer needed. Today, you can purchase a repurposed missile silo pretty much the same way you purchase a house. Admittedly these are not in the price range of the average citizen, but then again neither is health insurance under Obamacare (if you can get it).
That about wraps up our list. We’d love to hear your additions!